Tourist in My Own Town - Event #11

OK – I’ve never been to Navy Pier before. Not really. I’ve been to the IMAX theater before, yes, of course. I saw some cool 3D films there – including the latest deep-sea creature film, “Deep Sea 3D,” and James Cameron’s 3D underwater spectacle, “Ghosts of the Abyss.” 3D IMAX really lends itself to underwater imagery. I could sit there all day watching it… unfortunately, the stupid 3D educational films only last about 45 minutes long.

I’ve also seen regular films on the Navy Pier IMAX screen, including the third Matrix movie (whatever that was called) and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

To make a long story short, I’ve walked through the front doors of Navy Pier and gone straight from the ticket booth to the IMAX seat without realizing that there was ¾ of a mile of pure, disgusting materialism stretching beyond the ticket booth. It’s basically a hybrid between a state fair and a city mall for almost a solid mile. It’s disturbing and disorienting.

Luckily enough, for the parents involved there are myriad opportunities for intoxication. Every fourth storefront advertises some sort of “liquered coffee” or “ice cream liquor sundae” or “3-foot tap beers,” etc. Bluntly put, it’s hard to walk through Navy Pier with a valid ID and come out at the end perfectly sober. I did it just because I had a clinic shift to perform. If not, I would have been bellowing drunk on Kahlua and coffee just like every 45-year-old Dad in the place.

Just in case you think this was not a valid Cultural Event, Ryan and I rode the trolley from Navy Pier back to State St. Oh, and I forgot to mention that fact that I was only at Navy Pier because Ryan wanted to drop off an application at a restaurant there. The place is like glue – you go to drop off one application, and it becomes impossible to leave for 5 hours, even if you WANT to leave.