HOLLYWOOD CHEEZE TIME

While in Portland, I took the time to watch two great summer classics:

1. The Da Vinci Code (#26 for Maya, who knows for Sandy)



2. X-Men: X-Men Return, or Revenge, or Whatever X-Men Do in this Particular Movie (#27, ditto)



Da Vinci was better. They somehow turned the book, an admittedly exciting page-turner, into a moderately exciting plot with less-than-inspiring cinematography (especially considering the locations they used). The best decision the filmmakers made was to cover Audrey Tautou’s ears with her hair. The worst decision they made was to somehow make at least 60% of this movie totally boring. But a sheen of credibility was added by Ian McKellen, who is consistently awesome in everything he touches.

X-Men kind of sucked. I’m adding this picture because it was on Rotten Tomatoes, and it’s totally hilarious. It’s almost as if Brett Ratner is trying to teach Patrick Stewart how to act, or something. Huh? Dude, don’t go there. Patrick Stewart is one of those people who mysteriously appeared on a TV show (Star Trek TNG, duh) and the TV show was great, but he was SO much better than he needed to be for that show, it wasn’t even slightly funny. And now Brett Ratner is teaching him how to emote. Oh, anyway, in X-Men there’s a climatic scene where mutants are fighting other mutants, and they keep trying to outdo each other, and the final thing the “good” mutants do is throw flaming cars at one another…. I mean, seriously, if you have ANY power in the world, is the pinnacle of your power really going to be setting a car on fire and flinging it at your opponent? But a sheen of credibility was added by Ian McKellen, who is consistently awesome in everything he touches.