Syriana

Movie #15

Here’s a picture of non-fat Clooney to soothe your eyes.



So I saw Syriana (thanks Logan Budget Theater). It was so-so. Some good moments, but nothing too inspiring. The story was a little obtuse, and some of the story lines didn’t seem to converge at all… like the kids who lost their jobs and then ended up at a Muslim terrorist training camp – that was just a parallel storyline, right? Or was I supposed to somehow connect that concretely with the other story lines (besides the obvious fact that the oil company merger affected all the stories… argh, I can’t think about it right now).

My main complaint was actually the star-studded cast. They got a shitload of great actors, and they all did a good job. I found it distracting. Munich was the opposite since they cast mainly obscure and/or foreign actors. Instead of following the movie tonight, my internal monologue went something like this… “OK, so George Clooney is kind of fatter, but definitely still within the realm of hotness if he’d only shave his beard off… OK, the two oil companies are merging, I get that, and this is going to affect the politics of Iran by… Oh! Matt Damon is in this? He looks pretty good too, for a blonde white-boy. Oh, I like Amanda Peet even though she’s only in shitty movies. Jeffrey Wright is so cool, why don’t people know who he is? But he was way hotter back in the Basquiat days. Hey, Christopher Plummer! I’m glad he came back from nowhere to star in movies again. Gee, Chris Cooper plays the scary Southern pig-types a little too well. Is that Hank Azaria playing Prince Nasir? (It wasn’t.) William Hurt again! I’m so glad he kicked his alcoholism. I don’t find him particularly attractive… but he’s got that something… yeah, I’d do him.” Etc., etc. It was ridiculous. If I’m watching a serious movie about Middle Eastern politics, it makes me feel bad to fall into a celebrity stream-of-consciousness.

Sorry to take up so much blog space with my ranting. My five-word review of Syriana would be “Go see Ask the Dust.”