Friday, March 14, 2008

Never Back Down

I knew I had to see this movie the first time I saw the trailer a couple weeks ago. It was made with 14-year-old boys in mind I suppose, but come on – super-ripped men doing martial arts training in white tank tops, and then ripping off their shirts to savagely beat each other? It’s like porn for me! I would advise all MMA fans (we know who you are) to see this movie. The fight scenes are great, not as many technical mistakes as you usually see in fight movies, and they take up a large percentage of the screen time. Every time the movie starts to dip into back story about a particular character’s emotional state, don’t worry, it’ll only be a couple minutes before the next beatdown. And the lead actor (if you can call him that) – Sean Faris, who I’d never heard of – is astonishingly pretty, and I was transfixed by his gorgeous, perfect arms. Maybe I’m not being fair, and he could be a good actor in the right project. Who cares? I feel the same way about a handful of actors (Josh Hartnett, Olivier Martinez) – I can’t even tell what kind of acting job they’re doing because I’m just hypnotized by their perfect features. Those guys never make it into my top 5, but I appreciate them just the same. Anyway, Sandy, go see this movie, everyone else should skip it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


I was in the mood yesterday to see a Hollywood actiony piece of crap. I settled on Jumper, which was a good decision. Maybe I’m biased because I’m naturally interested in a movie about a character who suddenly discovers he has a new talent, and can’t tell many people about it (OK, so maybe instantly teleporting to anywhere in the world is a little cooler than what I can do, but maybe I can work up to that... in a way?) Anyway, this movie deserves higher than the 16% Tomatometer rating it’s currently rocking. The pacing is tight (less than an hour and a half), the special effects are cool and kind of low-key (which is really nice for a change), the characters are blah, but still more believable and empathetic than your average Hollywood flick… basically, as an action movie it’s a solid and entertaining movie to catch – especially at the budget theater! And Hayden Christensen is a really beautiful man… he’s done some good acting work – and some bad, but the symmetry of his facial features is classic and stunning… he’s looking better and better the older he gets!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Turning Into Sandy?

Jodhaa Akbar

I went out with my friend Vijay last night, and we had some wonderful Indian food (which I seriously haven’t had in months and months – what is wrong with me?!?) He asked me if I liked Indian movies, and I had to admit I haven’t seen very many due to their insane length. I agreed to give the newest Bollywood epic a try, however.
When we got to the ticket booth, the ticket-seller asked me, “Are you excited to see this film?” I think I said yes, and then he gleefully said, “You better be, it’s three hours and forty minutes long!” He probably noticed I was the only non-Indian person buying a ticket. I have to admit my heart sank a little, but I gave myself a pep talk – I sit through two movies back to back all the time, even three! If I pretended that it was two movies back to back, I thought I’d be able to manage it.
Much to my surprise, I loved this film. The vast spectacle of the landscape, battle scenes, animals, buildings, everything, was truly overwhelming on the big screen. It helped that the volume was probably turned up to the absolute maximum. Yeah, the movie was long, and there were a lot of historical details that left me completely in the dark. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen such ravishing costumes and jewelry in a film before, and the pace was quick enough to keep you from getting bored. Of course, the two leads are so creepily good-looking, it was hard to get bored looking at them as well.
I wish you could see this in the theater Sandy! Maybe there’s a big Indian population near Portland that I don’t know about, and they show this kind of thing… keep your eyes peeled, anyway.