SKIP THIS ONE

Movie #37 for Maya



Yeah, Johnny Depp is fabulous, and there are some funny lines buried in this bloated, creaking old shipwreck of a movie. If you thought that line was clever, you might like Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It wasn’t actually that bad, but suffered from way too many subplots, overly elaborate fighting setpieces, and characters I didn’t give a toot about. This movie could have been trimmed to a very entertaining hour and a half. Instead it’s two and a half hours long, and feels like five.

Good Things:
Johnny Depp (obviously).
The bad guys, like Squidy McOctopus-Face. They are very cool and creepy, and people creeped out by undersea life should probably steer clear (you know who you are).
Some of the incidental characters are really funny, like that scrawny weirdo from The Office (British version) and his bumbling friend.

Bad Things:
I thought this movie was never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to end.
Keira Knightley – whatever.
Orlando Bloom – double whatever. He’s a pretty-boy actor, but he can’t act.
All the other people in this movie – there are too many of you! Get out of the movie!

In summary: Cool special effects, but don’t watch this movie without expecting to be fully bored by at least an hour of it.