Friday, June 30, 2006

Superman Returns



Sandy's movie #18: Superman Returns

Blame "Smallville" if you like, because I was not even excited to see this movie... until the opening credits. When John Williams's eighties-licious score kicked in, along with those whooshing 3-D titles, it was like I was four years old again, totally crushing on Superman! I was giddy.

But that didn't last long.

Don't get me wrong, Brandon Routh channeled Christopher Reeve admirably. Love the eyebrows. Meanwhile, buttless wonder Kate Bosworth channeled a whiny 16-year-old. Ugh. Double ugh. Couldn't they have found a grown-up to play this role? Then again, the character of Lois Lane is so implausibly foolhardy that she probably wouldn't be likable no matter what. Oh, and apparently in this iteration, she's a vegan? I guess the writers wanted to try and explain Buttless's resemblance to a bean sprout. In between bad hair days, Kevin Spacey chewed up the scenery-- we couldn't have expected more from him.

But even more criminal than Lex Luthor's brilliant criminal mind was the colossal waste of Kal Penn. I thought he would have a semi-juicy role (Jimi Olson, anyone?), but instead, he was a walk-on. Another brown villain with no lines. Tsk, tsk, Bryan Singer!

I think Christian Bale said it best when accepting his MTV Movie Award for Best Hero: "I'm sorry, Superman, but Batman, he's the bad-ass." Yup. Seems all Superman can do over the course of a film's trajectory is lift increasingly heavy objects and then gingerly set them alight. When you take the sun away, he's just a pretty-boy in an incredibly gay suit. With a Dairy Queen geri-curl. Still, a worthy crush for a four-year-old of any generation.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Crazy Cat Guy said...

What's up with Kal Penn?? At first I thought this was just a paycheck for him but now I think maybe he did it for the laughs later. How funny would it be getting high and then watching yourself kick Superman's ass?? :)

10:16 AM  
Blogger ginsoakedgirl said...

I haven't seen it yet... but I would like to complain about the casting of these skinny minnies in supposedly "strong" female roles. Another egregious mistake was Mrs. Tom Cruise in Batman Begins. How can they have these huge important jobs when they appear to be 21 and only eat one salad every other day? They should at least cast someone who's slightly older and looks like a mature person... Kate Winslet and Rachel Weisz are two obvious possibilities that come to mind immediately.

3:20 PM  

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